It’s my life’s dream to become a powerful woman and a change maker. Empowering women to build self confidence through personal style.
While on my style journey, the one experience commonly shared by women who have endeavored to step up their confidence and self esteem game is dealing with other women who instead of supporting, rather sabotage them.
Making aggressively negative judgements and less flattering comments about other women’s appearance and their personal style.
Fashion Bullying is reaching a new level because people feel and think you need their approval to project your personal style.
Most people are afraid to dress a little cuter because they are afraid of what others might think or say.
When you dress up for the sake and approval of other people, you lose the ability to experience your authentic self…the you that needs to be celebrated will be lost to low self esteem.
During a style session, I met a friend, let’s call her Adzovi..she told her story..its a story I hear all too often and there are so many of us out there who have shared experiences. This was her story;
“Growing up, I wanted to be a “fashionista”, a trend setter, the first to always wear something new. I was almost always seen looking through magazines for inspirations.
Like anyone, I enjoyed the compliments that comes when I put pieces together, it makes me gush.
But my confidence crushed one fateful day when I decided to try a new outfit.
I posted a cute but weird outfit on Social media. I loved the feeling of confidence that came with putting together that beautiful outfit. The outfit meant everything to me. I had no idea that that outfit would receive so much attention.
People left hurtful comments on the picture. I began reading the most disgusting and brutal comments about myself.
I have always admired women who aren’t constrained by the pressure put on them and don’t give a damn about what anyone thinks of their dress sense, I looked at myself as one but not during these style crushing moments.
To believe that, these comments came from fellow women. Some called me “slut” “Whore” Cheap”
“Tacky” “Cheesy” “Unsophisticated” “Ugly” ..women are indeed their own enemies.
I felt pathetic and the only one I could talk to was a friend, who instead of consoling me, read the comments and laughed at me.
I began living in days where I hate myself and wish I didn’t embark on this journey after all.
I then decided to distant myself from my childhood dreams and focus on something that wouldn’t put me in a situation that will make me feel powerless”
After speaking to her, I explained to her that she wasn’t alone. Only few women admire confidence in other women and they only do so because they know what is required to develop confidence.
Personally, I have come to realize that, being fashionable and stylish means more than just wearing trendy outfits, who you are is probably never going to change and no matter where life takes you, you will inevitably come across others who think they know what’s best for you.
There’s always another chance to shape and elevate your self confidence and eliminate every insecurity that will prevent you from living as your authentic self.
You can only care less about what people say about you when you step up your confidence and self esteem game. People’s hurtful comments does not determine your self worth.
No matter what others perceive, your story is your story, no one can tell it better that you.
Every Queen has a story I believe is unique and must be told.
Join the #MyStyleMyWorth Confidence Campaign. The campaign is aimed at bringing together queens with similar stories who will share their experiences and wonderful secrets on building and managing confidence as well as personal style.
Queens will be empowered to desist from living by fashion trends solely and focus on finding themselves and live for who they really are and not what they should be.
Dear Queens, let’s Pause and embrace a fellow Queen’s Swag.
Written by: Akuvi Adjabs